Valentine's Day has always been my favorite holiday. It has never been what someone else says or does for me - this is my holiday to legitimately, unabashedly and proudly tell my family I love them.
I was raised in a family where little affection was ever shown. My Grandmother Allen was very formal and stiff. My mother softened up through the years, but until just a few years before she died, she rarely vocalized the words, "I love you." She was uncomfortable with hugs and outward affection. And then Jim came along. I remember the first day he went up and gave her a big bear hug before we got married. She said something that pleased him and he just gave her a hug. She was as stiff as a board and had a shocked look on her face. Through the years, she softened up and learned to love those affectionate hugs and sayings. It has been a little difficult for me as well. I never grew up with that kind of behavior. But Jim breaks me down. He has taught me to be unafraid to say "I love you" more often. Valentine's Day gives me an official reason to say it loud and clear. I LOVE YOU GUYS! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! I don't need an official reason to say it, but it makes it more fun.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do this year because I wasn't sure Dad was going to be home or be able to eat anything. I knew we wouldn't be going anywhere. The day was rough. We were very busy and had several hurdles to overcome in getting pain medication that wasn't $200.00. Jim was wiped out by the time we got home after physical therapy, a quick stop to sign our tax forms, a stop at Aspen Rehab to pick up an exercise sheet, a trip to the pharmacy, a trip to the doctor's office in Payson and a trip back to the pharmacy. We were both really tired and worn out.
I got him on the CPM machine (a machine that stretches and bends the knee) and he went to sleep. I went to the store to buy a lot of ice and something to make for a nice Valentine's dinner. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to pull it off but I did! I used the new dishes Lindsey and Hans gave us for Christmas and served a very yummy dinner that pleased Jim to no end. We had fresh glazed/broiled salmon, a salad with some spicy ginger dressing, a white and sweet baked potato mixed and a chocolate covered strawberry. It was fantastic if I say so myself! I made a little gift for Jim where I put a sheet of paper under a glass covered picture frame saying, "I love you because..." and then I wrote on the glass one reason I love him. I have 57 written and I'll write a new one on the glass each week. I got a great little book of fiction for Ammon about a boy that gets to meet Ammon in the Book of Mormon. I gave him some chocolate milk and crackers and cheese.
I love this day. It usually brings out the good in me (hidden down deep). :)
I love my husband. I missed him greatly when he was not here. Life was very quiet and lonely without him. How lucky I have been to have a man say to me every single day, "Have I told you yet today how much I love you?" He says it every day.
I love you, Jim.