I find that life is all about timing. Last night I took Judy Flack (who was visiting with us for the night) on a short drive. We went up to the very top of Woodland Hills in a new subdivision that is being built called Summit Creek. New roads have been built and new, ultra modern/woodsy kind of homes are being built. I didn't take her up there to see the houses, but to view the valley below. This was one night I did not take my camera and I missed it. In photography, it's all about the timing - being in the right place at the right time. Clouds had moved in - it was raining at the north of the valley and it made the lake look like it was part of the rain - one continuous sheet of silver. It wasn't raining south of Provo. To the south of West Mountain, a group of clouds were trying to shroud the sun but there was one small hole in the wall of clouds. It caused a streak of gold that shot across the yellow and green fields in the valley. We both just sat there and stared at that scene. It was incredible and one that would have been worthy of being a poster (with the right photographer which I'm not). But I didn't have the camera and by the time I could get one, the lighting had changed.
I find that I miss those shots in life as well. Sometimes I do something right and it all just falls into place, creating a wonderful scene in my heart and mind. And sometimes I either don't have the right emotional tools in place or understanding isn't clear or I'm just out of sync with the Spirit. I don't like it when that happens. Learning to recognize the missed opportunities is important because it helps me watch for upcoming opportunities and, hopefully, I don't make the same mistakes again. Far too often in my life I have missed appropriate opportunities and have just plowed my way through life, not bursting through the clouds and not shining my light on anybody. All day yesterday I felt like that. I felt sad and out of sync. I don't know why, but I did. How I wish I had a camera yesterday to go back and view my day and my heart and my mind.
Part of this out-of-sync feeling right now is because we are talking about our future and Ammon's future. It's been a struggle to find people and places that will open their minds and hearts and embrace an opportunity to help a young man fulfill a mission. I have been surprised by that but I don't know why I should be. That's a pretty natural thing that happens in this world. We are slowly finding places for him to serve -just one more piece of the puzzle that needs to be put in place and then we need to hire two new people to take care of him. Both boys that have been working with him have to quit when school starts due to sports and school responsibilities. We can't really hire anyone else until we have a schedule. We're working as quickly as we can to get this completed. That puts all other future plans on hold and I don't like that. I don't like unknowns. But that's where the faith comes into play and it's necessary for us to use it. I know it will all work together for the best. I just don't know the timeline.
At least I had the sense to wander around the Provo Temple grounds yesterday and that helped raise my spirits.