Sunday, August 25, 2013

Pensive

Today I am feeling a bit pensive and confused. I should be at church right now but my legs just aren't going to get me there today. Jim and I recently watched the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. My friends at work had seen it when it was first released a couple of years ago and kept raving about it. I found it on Netflix and decided to see what this movie was all about. I don't know that I would recommend it, especially to the younger generation. You aren't to the spot where you could readily identify with the movie. It's about six or seven different people (some couples) that are trying to find something to do with their lives after retirement. They find an advertised hotel in India that supposedly caters to elderly and retired people and they decide to go there. None have ever met before. The hotel was a broken down place full of unfulfilled dreams. I liked the movie but I felt a depression and sadness after it was over because I am soon to be in that position of figuring out how to be needed and still able to do what needs to be done. As my legs become more and more difficult to use, I struggle to accept that my life has changed. I am never going to be able to stoop to take pictures. I will probably never get to climb Angel's Landing or participate in any family fun run of any kind. I am lucky to get up and down my stairs multiple times in a day. I'm not yet in the position of accepting that this is what things will be like for the rest of my mortal life. I'm still fighting it and I think I should continue to pursue options about how to improve my situation. However, I may feel a little more peace inside if I were to accept things the way they are. I'm in a state of confusion about how to balance my life. I suppose I will figure it out one of these days.

We also saw the new version of Les Miserable this weekend. It said it was a musical. It was actually an opera. I the thought acting was fantastic! Some of the voices, not so much, and yet the lack of great vocal skills added to the authenticity of the movie. One line in the movie touched me deeply. "When you see the face of someone you love, you see the face of God." The face of God is definitely all around me because I get to see photos of you and your children. (And I get to see the faces of those that live nearby, of course.

 I appreciate the fact that this little Rose of Sharon is high enough that I don't have to squat to capture it's beauty. This is one more view that shows the face of God.

I think this bee was comatose. I could have petted it and it would have remained where it was. So very cooperative!
We went to a Purchasing/Travel annual BBQ last Thursday. As we came around the corner in South Fork (Provo Canyon), I was shocked to see that the leaves were already changing. They are very dull this year, which, as I understand, has to do with lack of water.  It was 95 degrees. How could we possibly be into fall when it's still so hot? 


2 comments:

Jess Clark said...

I'm sorry your legs are giving out on you. It's a shame the surgery didn't turn out as well as you'd expected.

But I can't believe the pictures of the changing colors. I was in Montana last week (it was 38 one morning when we got up for breakfast) but not a single tree had changed. I'm excited for fall but not for winter!!

Mike and Adrianne said...

I'm sorry about your knees too. It makes me sad. I look at my future and I see your knees and it makes me a bit nervous and scared. But you are a trooper and I just need to think of that and it will help me. Hang in there.