Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hot!!

IT'S SO HOT


.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.

.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.

.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance

.....hot water comes from both taps.

.....you can make sun tea instantly.

.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.

.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand).

.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.

.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?

.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.

.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

3 comments:

Jess and Jen said...

Clever, mother. Yes, it is fairly hot. I am so grateful to have the heat w/o the humidity. 100+ degrees four days this week is a bit much for me and I don't know if I'd survive with some midwestern or eastern or southern humidity to go with it.

My car's A/C is fairly weak these days so if I don't find a shady place to park in during work, it's a long, hot drive home. -Jess

Kaitlin Clark said...

That was funny. Thank you for the enjoyment.

Mike and Adrianne said...

Those are pretty funny!