Alright, I have a question. At what age should kids get their first cell phone? I realize this depends on various things, but I'm curious what you all think.
I'm asking because last night at Geoff's school the sports director "heavily implied" to all the parents that if you wanted to allow your child to play sports, the student needs to have a cell phone. That way, your kid can reach you and let you know if there have been changes to practice schedules, game times, locations, bus transportation issues to and from games, etc. Of course, Geoff had already informed me the day before that all his new friends have been asking what his cell # is. He seems embarrassed to give out our home # because "mom might answer"...(cause you know, I BITE!) What's up with that?!
Why do 11 yr olds need cell phones? Maybe a high school age kid could use one if they are heavily involved in after school activites, etc. but middle school? And even Sarah's friends in elementary school have them-- both here and back in Ohio.
Am I just being archaic in thinking Geoff shouldn't need one yet?? Of course, I'm not into those unlimited plans that allow your kids to text their stinkin lives away. Maybe unlimited is better, given there are restrictions from parents. I can't believe how times have changed. I was in middle school not THAT long ago...
Ugh. My kids just need to stop trying to grow up on me.
13 comments:
I want to say that's just ridiculous, but I guess I can't say that because I suppose it makes sense. If technology is being thrown in our faces (which is it) these days, I can understand why parents would get their kids cell phones. The world is kind of a scary place these days and a cell phone could be a good way of keeping tabs on your kids and making sure they're okay. I remember growing up and waiting for quite a long time sometimes for a ride somewhere. There was a lot of confusion and miscommunication sometimes that led to lots of fights at home. If you can prevent that with the use of a cell phone, I guess I'm ok with it. I just don't want it to turn into some kind of a status thing with kids. Thats when limits need to be set. For instance, they can only leave their phone in their locker and use it only after school hours. Also, they have a VERY limited number of minutes per month. Keep the phone use only limited for emergency calls and such. No texting till they are older! The whole texting thing bugs me. Especially when they are that young.
Those are just some of my thoughts. I might be totally off in my thinking, I just don't want to think about it until I have to. Raising teenagers scares the crap out of me.
Lindsey
We just let Dan get his first cell phone. He is 15. Both he and Caleb pay for their own portion of the cell phone bill and that includes texting. Michelle and I reserve the right to control the hours which the boys can use the phones however with Verizon's parental controls. 11 is early but perhaps one of those pay as you go phones would be appropriate. That's what we did for Caleb. He had to pay for it though. That way he had to decide how important the phone really was.
We all got along just fine without cell phones. So can today's generation. They just choose not to.
11 year olds don't need their own cell phone.... let them borrow yours when they are at practice so they can call when practice is over or changed. not for any other reason. As long as they want to and can pay (which means high school age) it go ahead by all means- but regardless if they pay or not my kids will NOT have internet access on their phones.
Dave
Dave, I'm going to remember that when your kids are at that age and they're asking you for it. Can't wait!
I agree with Jason about the whole idea of them paying for it themselves. However, when they're 11, they can't really get a job. So, if you feel Geoff needs a phone, maybe he could do extra chores around the house to earn hours for the phone? All in all, he is really young and he really doesn't NEED a phone, it would just be more convienant for you both if you are willing to pay for it. Glad I'm not there yet. :)
None of the 12 and 13 year old Scouts / Deacons in my ward have a cell phone. Like Dave said, some borrow phones during activities or camps so they can communicate if they have to, but they don't have one of their own. In fact, it seems like most the boys in our ward don't get a cell phone until they're around 15 years old, like Jason and Dan. -Jess
Kaitlin kept telling me when she was a sophomore in high school that she got left out because she didn't have a cell phone and couldn't get texts from friends about activities. Mind you, she had a home phone #. Stupid, stupid!! Of course, you all know how I feel about cell phones - they are great in an emergency, but Chelsey, you will have difficulty controlling what Geoff does and sees on a cell phone if you give him one. Maybe there are some parental controls as Jason suggested, but you're just asking for a spoiled kid that gets what he wants because "everybody else does it."
I'd say no way - I did say no way to it. I hate it when the kids come home and can't have two free hands because they are attached to their cell phones. They jump everytime they get a text, and conversation is lost in a real sense.
Your kids will not be ruined if they don't get one until they are older.
I personally don't feel that kids need them at all. Teenagers maybe, but only if they are showing responsibility to pay for them. I struggled with getting Caleb a cell phone at 15, I wanted him to wait till he was 16. He showed responsibility and had a job in which he had money set aside to pay for the plan each month and the texting so we went ahead and let him have a phone. Daniel just barely got his and again he is paying for his own. We made him pay for the phone, the extra to add him to our plan and share the texting plan with Caleb. This was only because he is 15 1/2 has a job and was showing responsibility.
Each family is different, but the way I see it is this. Tell the younger kids to borrow their friends phone to call you if needed. This is what Brenden does, he is on a football team and when he gets out early he always calls me from someone's phone, it's never been a problem. I just told him straight out that he wouldn't have a phone till high school and he'd be paying for it. I feel that when they pay for it, they keep track of it and care a bunch more about it and are LESS likely to loose it and if the do, then they have to go with those consequences to get a new phone. I don't think children under 14 need one at all for any reason, especially since most of the friends have one, let them stand out and be different.
I agree with everyone's cell phone comments, but especially Lindsey's comment about raising teenagers scaring her! Yikes! I wish I could keep them all little! -Jen
I didn't say that mom. I said that I needed one because I was always doing things after school and needed to get a hold of you. If it weren't for some friends having a cell phone that were really close by I would have been stranded multiple times (Dad forgetting me or me missing the bus so I needed a ride home or to dance, ect.). I don't think that anyone younger than a Freshman or even a Sophomore needs a cell phone. I love the convenience of one right now but I appreciate it more because I have to work for it. He shouldn't have to have one that young! That is crazy.
What an intresting topic! I love all of your comments. For me the issue is cultural and financial.
Cell phones are great in case of an emergency need. But the carefull planing and communication that is needed in life is easily lost in the ease of "just call."
The idea of a young man having access to the internet is really frieghtening. Internet access should only be in a very public place for kids, especially boys. And then should be accompanied by strong parental control. The mass of porn on the net is overwhelming, and it is malignantly powerful, leading to bad physical habits and worse. And it is hard to get free for those taken by its devilish grasp.
Texting is stupid. That may sound tough and dumb, but even many years ago when going to college there used to be comments by organizational behavioralists telling of the probems with sending memos to people instead of just calling or walking down to someones office to communicate. The memo (text) can be appropriately used as a follow-up or record of something very inportant. But when you lose personal contact with people you have lost something very important.
Then there is the cost. I guess that I am too poor to understand the need to spend so much. At least one can pay for their own minutes, but even then the idea that it is a neccessity rather than a luxury creeps in so easily. I have seen a kid recently ask for help with finances because they are short. But there is still a cell phone in the purse.
I think that Chelsey should call the coach and explain that he is off base with eleven year old kids.
I'll bet that the coaches down in Camden rather than in affluent Cherry Hill do not ask their kids to buy a phone. There kids would be lucky to have shoes to play in. And then perhaps like my own childnood, the same shoes were worn at other times and thrown in the washer when they became too foul.
So much for this old man's views. Incidently, Jess and Jen gave Chris and I a cell phone with an limited number of minutes on it for Christmas. We use it sparingly, and have yet to use up the minutes. It is very helpful at times, but certainly not a neccesity.
Dad Clark
Kaitlin, it is good to know that Dad hasn't changed. Do you know how many times I had to walk the 5 or so miles home from Del Campo because Dad forgot me at school? No wonder I could never get my homework done. It was bedtime by the time I got home. It would have been nice to have had a cell phone in those instances.
Nice try at an excuse for not doing your homework, Jason! :)
And just so you all know, we've never planned on getting Geoff a phone just because the coaches think it's a good idea. I've already told him to borrow a phone from a friend and call me if he needs to get ahold of me.
The scariest thing is this: On the 2nd day of school, Geoff was sitting in front of a girl on the bus home, when she asked him to look at some crazy text from her 8th grade friend on another bus. It essentially said, "Can't talk now, having sex." What's wrong with these kids?? Are parents talking to their kids at all anymore??
After a long conversation with Geoff (and making sure there were no pictures in that text!) I'm nearly ready to homeschool my child....and then keep him in a bubble....or maybe make him wear blinders....or join an amish community...or...
Just as the church leaders have said, technology can be used as a great tool, as long as it's done within the proper boundaries. Parents simply need to know their own kids and keep better tabs on them.
That's scary! At least Geoff told you about it! -Jen
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