A long update about my seizures

I don't think I have updated you all on the seizure thing. I went in to the Dr. to discuss the results of my EEG. I had talked to his nurse practitioner and she believed that I didn't have seizures at all (at least not now) but that when I am feeling a little weird, I am actually having a migraine aura. I've only had a few full blown migraines but I get bad headaches all the time. She said that I should go on another medicine that is for headaches. She told me to come back in in a month and talk to the doctor about it. Mike and I prayed about it and felt that I should not go on that medicine yet. We felt that eventually we wanted to have another baby and I did not feel comfortable being on a medicine that was more risky than the one I am on. I also did some research and found that the current medicine I was on had a side effect of headaches on a lot of people. We felt the best route to take was to get off the medicine completely and then if something starts happening I will go back to the doctor and we could do another EEG if we needed to to see what is going on--I've never had one while I wasn't on medicine.

I went to the doctor and he immediately started saying that I should just go on this headache medicine and he became very annoyed when I told him I didn't want to do that. He then tried to backtrack and told me to go immediately to this new headache med. and then after a few months he would take me off of that one completely. That seemed weird to me. If the goal was to take me off meds altogether, why not just slowly wean me off the one I was on rather than switch to a new one. Anyway, he was very defensive and I wouldn't back down. He finally told me that we would do what I wanted but preceded to freak me out about what would happen if I had a seizure--mainly that he would not sign anything allowing me to drive for six months. He was so rude to me that I began feeling uncomfortable and began wondering if I was in fact making the correct choice.

He told me that after three months I would be off the medicine and then he would make me do another EEG as soon as I was off. This also didn't make sense to me. He originally told me that the reason we were doing the 48 hour test was because it was more detailed and the best way to tell if you were having seizures. He then started saying that it couldn't be conclusive and that I could still have seizures. So I asked him why three other doctors have said that I didn't have them. I felt that it would do no good to have the EEG again unless something was already happening. We know what the test says when I'm not having seizures so why not take the test when I am having them? Does that make sense?

So he said to me that I would take this EEG and if I started feeling weird that I would go in and explain how I was feeling and he would decide with his "expertise" if I was having a seizure and I would have to believe him. He was so pompus and rude. I just don't understand why an EEG would show no signs but he could still make a diagnosis of seizures just by me describing what I feel? I would think the EEG would be the better test of what is going on. Anyway, the appointment was a sham.

I don't understand why so many doctors get so defensive when a patient tries to take a part in their care. It is like they believe I think I'm smarter than the, which is stupid. Just because I ask questions doesn't mean I think I'm smarter.

Anyway, I am on the second month of getting of my medicine. I will be done with the meds completely next month. Most of the time I feel fine about it. Then other days I feel nervous. I wonder if this really is the right thing to do. It would really, really be hard for our family if I did in fact have a seizure and wasn't able to drive for six months. Mike and I are praying that if this is in fact what we should that things will work out.

Anyway, that's the long update. If you are ever wondering what you should pray about we could always use prayers. This has been a challenge for me but I also have faith that if I follow what God wants for me that things will work out.