Memorial Day

I honestly don't remember doing anything special on Memorial Day when I was a child. We were almost always out of school by the time the holiday rolled around and all my grandparents were alive so we didn't visit the cemetary. I don't remember any kind of picnic, either. I may have been too cool to have one at that point in Wyoming. The first time I remember celebrating Memorial Day (celebrating is really the wrong word here) was when my Aunt Alyse and Mom decided to take me over to Heber with them and decorate my Allen grandparents' graves. I was married and had a couple of kids by then. We put flowers on the graves and then had a picnic near the resevoir. It was a nice day. I don't think this holiday really takes on much meaning to someone until they lose either a parent, sibling or child themselves, especially in this family since we have not had anyone serve in the military until Mike and Hans came along. Jim's father was in the military and my Grandpa Teichert was also in World War I but other than that, we haven't had many people on either side of our families serve in any branches of the military. I don't think that's purposeful - it just hasn't happened. Nevertheless, I honor those that willingly serve our country. I honor those who have given their lives in service for our freedom. I honor the wives of these men because they have such a burden placed upon their shoulders while their husbands are away. It would be a difficult life and I appreciate those in our family that have chosen this career. Thank you for all you do.
Jim, of course, has many more relatives buried in this area of the world - grandparents, great grandparents and even great-great grandparents. He has always been interested in their lives. I have no siblings around to put flowers on my mother's grave and it always seems so lonely with our one arrangement and one small vase of flowers that is also there placed by some friend every year who remains unknown to us.I just wanted to remember my mom for a moment today. I am a lot like her in many ways. I look like her. I like to tell a good story but she was much more adept at the embellishments. Her favorite thing to do when we would come to visit was to sit up late in the night just talking after kids were all in bed. She was an effective and wonderful teacher when she taught gospel-related subjects. She was interested in the principles of the gospel and liked to discuss those principles whenever anyone was willing to discuss them with her. She wasn't a great cook (I'm sooo like that!) but it was passable and every so often she would wow us with some creation. She loved to entertain and she had hundreds of friends (we begin to differ now). We are very different in other areas - she was one of the most creative people I've ever known. Her creativity was developed simply because she had to be creative on little money or she would have had little beauty in her life. I tend to just put up with things because I don't have her creative genius. Mom loved her kids most of all when they were teenagers - she loved to talk to us. She would make sure that she was always home when we got home so if we needed to talk, she would be there for us. (I used to do that before I went to work.) That was one of the most important things she ever did for me. She was also an intervener between me and my dad. Had she not been around, I don't know what my life would have been like. She always gave me a reason to come home.
Mom had her own personal issues that weren't pretty. She wasn't very happy quite a lot in her life, partly due to poor health, and partly due to the constant differences between her and dad. They had many good, happy years, but as their health began to deteriorate, they couldn't seem to get it all together. She became bitter and ugly in the last years of their marriage. She finally got some medical help and began to accept what had happened. After she moved to Spanish Fork near us, I would go over to see her and would find her sitting on her sofa deep in thought. There would be no music or sound. She was just thinking. That was a very lonely time for her, but I think it was one that gave her time to make peace with the Savior before she died. She became as gentle as a lamb and it was such a privilege to take care of her. She was always grateful for anything we did and she loved having the kids go over and visit with her.
I hope, as I age more and more, that I become like she did in the end. I hope I face death with grace and dignity and I hope I am grateful enough to those that serve me to let them know. I hope my fiery disposition will settle down and I will take more time to contemplate where I've been and where I'm going and get there with decency and kindness to all those around me.
Today I want to honor her for all the important things she did for me throughout my life. (Just for the record, when I told her one day about my future plans - marriage wasn't mentioned - she said, "Christina, marriage is the most important thing you can do with your life. Having children is the best thing you can do with your life. It's all more important than what you are planning. I hope you choose that path." Well, kids, you are here partly because of her influence.
Thanks, Mom, for the best advice I've ever received and for the great blessing your advice brought about.