AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them, and if you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
7 comments:
I have to live with this!
Dad Clark
I really like the last one!!!
I do, too -- I remember when your sisters pushed each other down the stairs in Francesville - I believe Adrianne pushed Lindsey - or vice versa. It wasn't funny then.
I also liked the chopping vegetables one... :)
You can sure tell who has the brains in our family - compare Jim's "eruditeish" (not a word) egg-on to my silly jokes.
Glad all you guys got his brains, not mine.
Mom
It was me that pushed her and I didn't mean to push her down the stairs. I meant to push her but didn't think about it being on the stairs and I was little and she was being a jerk.
Brent and I laughed at these too. The last one is our favorite.
I think that the mouse trap one would make a really good (and kind of mean) april fool's joke. Someone should do it and tell me how it turns out.
What, you're not offering to be the guinea pig? If you do it to Rylee, she's young enough that she'd forget how much she hates you in a few years. Give it a try! -Jess
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