Hey, I have a friend who wrote about her feelings concerning money problems--should she use WIC just because she qualified? Should she ask her parents for money first? Was she having unrealistic expectations about the lifestyle she should be living, etc.
I am wondering what you all think about this? I know that money is a touchy subject in our family so if you don't want to discuss this, I understand but I also think we all have a lot of assumptions about what we each believe so I just want to know? What do you think?
I think I have some ideas about what Mom and Dad think because they have talked about them off and on. I know that dad is against Socialism.
Here are some questions:
What do you think about parents taking care of their children even after they are married and have kids? Should they support them (if possible) through college? If so, how much should they support them?
Do you think you should ask your family first for assistance? Would you be willing to help family members out that needed money for a long period of time so that they didn't have to use government assistance (assuming you had money to do that).
What do you think of using government assistance if you qualify? I mean that is it worth it to you to use it because you qualify and not have to struggle so much or would you opt out of using it and try to scrape by? I am thinking of this question in terms of someone who qualifies but could live without it.
At what point should a girl drop out of school to take care of her husband? Do you think it is appropriate for a girl to wait to have children until she has a degree (or a great skill)?
Would you discourage your sons from going to college and getting a degree in something they love but isn't very profitable?
What do you think about waiting a reasonable time to have children if you don't have money? Do you believe that putting off having children to be financially stable is wrong? I am not taking about putting off having children until your whole life is financially stable--just so you can provide the basic needs of your children and family. What if you can't provide for your family for awhile?
What do you think of welfare in general?
I think those are the only questions I have. If I think of more I will write them. I hope this post doesn't create arguments in the family. I am honestly interested in what you all think. I think we all believe the same things because we were taught by the same awesome parents. But, I also think we all probably have a little differences in opinion.
10 comments:
I don't have time to comment on all your questions right now, but I will address one: "Would you discourage your sons from going to college and getting a degree in something they love but isn't very profitable?"
I had a professor/boss in college that taught me that if you're passionate about something (truly passionate -- not just your flavor of the week), you can make decent money at it. Even teaching.
So, no, I would not discourage my children against a educational pursuit if it is something they are truly passionate about.
Hmmm. I think that's a good point. It is different in my mind with girls. I think they should be encouraged to get an education or a skill to be prepared for the future (and I think education is important anyway) but with a guy...It seems like such a hard thing. On the one hand, let's say our son wants to be a musician, and he's good. Of course I would want to encourage him to do something with it. But I would be really hesitant to encourage him with the knowedge that few people actually get very far in music. I think maybe I would want to help him find different routes to follow in music (music teacher for example). It doesn't make very much money but it can provide for a family and if you are willing to live that way, I don't see a problem with it. But I would encourage my sons to really think about it and be realistic. Just because you decide that music isn't very profitable and you choose something you don't love as much but provides better, doesn't mean you can't still tinker with music and enjoy it. You know? I think as a mom I would encourage them regardless, but it would be a hard thing. Anyway, good point. I think your teacher was wise in saying htat.
I guess my thought is this: if you're truly passionate about something, you will excel at what you do. That will not go unnoticed. A passionate person will find ways to succeed in his/her field and survive financially. For some, that may mean starting their own business (in that discipline...not just starting a business to start a business). For someone else, it may mean moving to a bigger and better job because you've got bigger fish to fry, if you will.
Adrianne,
You raise a lot of good questions. Here are a few of my thoughts. I believe that a married couple should be responsible for their own expenses. Mom and Dad should not pay their way through life - or even school for that matter. I am not talking about the occasional emergency but rather an ongoing occurance. Government assistance is not a bad option if it is really needed but I think that it is abused. I know of couples that drive around in late model cars (the title in their parents name, of course) and wear brand name clothes while paying for their food with our tax dollars. That is inappropriate. However, if the option is starve your children or pay the rent, food stamps are perfectly acceptable and should be used. Simply using a government program just because the qualifications have been met is not necessarily the most honest thing to do.
Regarding eduction, I believe in letting my children dream big. There is enough reality in every day life that I don't feel the necessity of allowing it to intrude on their dreams. I encourage my children to dream big. Who knows, maybe those dreams will become a reality. One of the strengths of the American education system is that we tend to graduate people with a well rounded education. For example, becoming a physician in China requires 6 years of post-secondary education as opposed to the 8 years here in the US. That is because their education from day one is focused on medical training. Taking a class in the role of television in 20th century thought would be unthinkable (as it probably should be here). But in the US, we are allowed to follow and should follow whatever pathway will make us happy - even if that means that our doctoral thesis is titled "Effects of Cartoon Violence on College Student Drinking Behavior at Libery University."
I will talk about this later.
Hey - I thought we weren't doing anonymous stuff anymore...?
Anonymous was Dad while we were checking some Blog settings. No worries there!
Adrianne, one more thing: I don't think there's a right answer for any of these questions. Just like you would discipline different children differently based on that particular child, I think money situations child to child differ significantly. I don't think there's anything wrong with helping your kids through college where possible. In fact, if there's a way I can help my kids avoid student loans, I will! They don't need to be burdened with debt to learn a lesson. We can all figure out more creative ways to teach our kids money lessons besides just sitting back and saying, "You're on your own. Good luck."
Of course I say that and probably won't be able to provide $50 to my kids when they are in college, so I may really say "You're on your own. Good luck."
One last thing: My personal feeling (in regards to gov't assistance) is that you would approach your family for emergency needs that last a short time. If you have a continual need for funds month to month, I think that's where the gov't steps in and provides. In this family in particular, none of us can step in and provide monthly assistance for very long without causing a significant strain on themselves.
So, I think there's a real time and place for family assistance and a real time and place for gov't assistance.
Jess
I'm not looking for a right answer. I'm just wondering what everyone thinks.
Again, if you aren't comfortable answering, please don't. My intention isn't to start a fight. I think we can share our thoughts (and the things we think work for our personal family) without judging each other and calling someone wrong for thinking something different. And, who's to say that we don't all really believe the same things?
Those were interesting comments and and interesting post by Adrianne and Mike.
Today I am not a good person to answer any of the questions. For example: Was I passionate about my work when I got started? You bet I was. I never made a good living, either. And right now I am a financial mess. Does that mean only persons who want to have small families and live like rats should do what I did? I do not think so. But, until the people of the church (and aparantly, its leaders, too) are willing to accept the law of consecration and stewardship and establish Zion, the lofty answers to such things as have been asked are of little worth.
It almost seems that the principles of Zion and its laws are now only for those who do financially lofty (not just helpful or necessary)things.
Enough. I will start to cry, or get angry, or desperate.
Remember, only the financially able should have a disabled child who needs a van to get out. Only the financially able should consider having a child get married in Florida. Only the financially able should have kids and grandkids that they want to see and associate with that live further than a few miles from their home. Only a financilly able man should think that he could buy his wife even one piece of funiture during their marriage. Only the financially able can help their kids get through school with anything other than a statement of best wishes. (I might add that only the righteous can be helped and continue to learn and develop as they should. You know what they say about the evils of the dole.) I could go on, but the evils of sarcasm will get me.
So, forget your passion, forget your interests, plow into life with only self-aggrandizing motives and you can make your way. Or you may be one of the lucky ones that actually get to do something you want to do and be worth something to others, and be financially able to survive at the same time.
Dad Clark
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